Years ago I lived my life as a raw vegan hermit.
I didn’t go out. I didn’t do much of anything but work at a potato chip factory , sleep, and prepare raw food meals…which were very delicious by the way.
One time, after I’d been raw for awhile, and having attended a Hallelujah Acres Seminar, with George Malkmus. I decided to try juicing more carrots. Not only did I drink the juice…and believe me, freshly juiced carrot juice is the BOMB, I also used the leftover pulp to make dehydrated carrot “burgers”. Yum! And I made LOTS of them!
I turned orange. Honestly. Ask my kids. They’ll be more than happy to tell you all about it. We even have a photo taken at Sears of me and the three pip squeaks, and I’m orange. I thought I looked healthy. They thought I looked weird.
I wasn’t complaining. For the first time in my life I had skin that wasn’t white as the driven snow. So what if I looked like a carrot with clothes?
Luckily, my carrot juicer fell off of the top of the refrigerator and broke into a million pieces and my new, expensive, Samson juicer refused to juice carrots, so I never juiced them again.
Instead, I got into watermelon. I used a whole one every other day. I ate the sweet centers, and made smoothies with the outside parts that weren’t so sweet.
I also ate an average of 34 organic bananas every week. I counted them up one time at the behest of a friend. Even I was amazed.
One time, after I got tired of being a hermit and only meeting other raw foodies in books and on the internet, I decided to go to a raw festival in New York. There were to be lots of famous and not so famous guest speakers.
I contacted a friend in Richmond who I had met while attending a couple of seminars there that she hosted, one with the Boutenkos of the Raw Family and one with David Wolf. I was looking for someone to ride with me and share expenses.
She hooked me up with a guy who wanted to share a ride with someone up to the event. I had a bad feeling about him, but hey, he lived at Yogaville, and my friend had recommended him, how harmful could he be?
I packed my sharpest screwdriver under the drivers seat just to be safe.
He turned out to be a lunatic. I won’t go into details, but believe me, I won’t pick up weird yogi’s again unless I personally know them, and then it’s iffy.
Anyway, I’ve been feeling very tired and rundown and my diet has been just awful, which is what I’m blaming the blah’s on. Too much fried junk, fast food, eating dinner late with CG etc. The only thing that’s saved me is having so much fresh, raw goats milk on hand. Otherwise I don’t think I’d be getting any vitamins at all.
I love watching the goats eat new browse. Trees, bushes, poison ivy, etc. Stuff I can’t eat, but I know some of those nutrients pass through to the milk. But still, at some point, a girl has to eat her own vegetables.
So, starting yesterday with a big bag of fancy cherries and a banana from Walmart, I decided to once again embark on at least a partially raw diet. I know not to be too strict or it will be doomed from the beginning. I’d been thinking about doing this for awhile. I didn’t just get hit in the head by lightening and say “hey, I’m going raw today.” (Although the storms yesterday did get pretty close.)
Last night for dinner I had a watermelon. Well, part of a watermelon. It was great! I only had to get up twice in the middle of the night to pee. But, I didn’t wake up feeling bloated with dark circles under my eyes. In fact, I felt pretty good this morning come to think of it.
And so, my adventure begins…..anybody want to join me?
By the way, I know a lot about the raw food diet, and have no less than one million books on the subject, so if you ever have any questions, I can probably locate the answer for you. I used to dream about being a raw food guru that lived to be 200 years old…instead, I decided to become a natural hoof care practitioner and raise dairy goats and make soap. Not really so far off the track, actually.
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